Must do ALL THE THINGS with a side of Unhelpful Incessant Internal Dialogue

I haven’t been very proactive with my mental or physical health these days. Like journalling, for instance. (Why yes, spell-check, journalling is a verb!) Why don’t I do it? I mean more than twice a year when I’ve decided to turn over that new leaf and do ALL THE THINGS I know I’m supposed to be doing to get better. I’ve always been super supportive of the idea that it can help us all live better, happier lives, but I’ve been guilty of not practicing what I preach.

I do that a lot to be honest. And when it happens I always have this argument with myself over whether or not this makes me a hypocrite. I’m settling on no, (convenient right?). It’s funny that I even bother to have these debates with myself  since I don’t think I’ve ever actually been accused of being one, (by anyone other than myself), but that’s just one example of the incessant internal dialogue that goes on in the deep dark recesses of my mind…

Seriously though, I’m not a hypocrite. Want to know why? Because even though I like to give advice to people when they ask, or when they’re telling me about their given problem, I’m not pretending to be perfect. I’m not criticizing them for not doing these things. I’m simply saying that these things might be a good idea. I genuinely want to help when I give advice, not pretend I’m better than anyone else.

Oh God. Now I’m arguing with myself. On the internet.

clean-all-the-things-624x468I guess I’m always being critical of myself and my motivations, my excuses or reasons, in short, my everything, and this is just another example of that. Three cheers for critical self-talk, hooray!

So this is me, making one more bid to do ALL THE THINGS!!!! 

Let’s see, that’s: the “morning pages” journal writing, yoga, meditation, running, healthy eating, supplements, early to bed early to rise oh God just thinking of it makes me want to stab my alarm, random acts of kindness and SOCIAL INTERACTION, boring-life-necessities like cooking a motherf*cking meal, cleaning up the apartment, doing the laundry…

responsibility11 (1)

Pics from awesome blog-turn-book “Hyberbole and a Half” by Allie Brosh.

Yes. It’s time. Must do ALL THE THINGS.

 

 

*Have I mentioned how much I love Hyperbole and a Half?

 

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4 thoughts on “Must do ALL THE THINGS with a side of Unhelpful Incessant Internal Dialogue

  1. Aaron says:

    Hey Lady – I hope all is going well up there in the chilly North! Please pardon my interrupting your conversation with yourself… 😉 I can relate to what you are saying (especially stabbing and/or destroying the alarm clock).

    Something to consider: perfectionism. Many people interperet perfectionism as being picky (“oh, I like my socks to all face the same way in a drawer, I am a perfectionist”). True perfectionism is setting high standards/goals, many times impossibly high, in your life. Commonly when the goals are not reached perfectionists give up or fall into depression. I get this way with my music: I sit down to play my cello and expect to be as good as I was when I practiced every day, and when I am not I give up. Often, I give up before I even start because I already know how it will be. The only way I have gotten out of the low point is to be self-aware and determine to work at it again even though I will be crappy.

    I am not sure if that is applicable to your situation, but reading this made me think of wanting to do it all, realizing I cannot, and then giving up. Perfectionism at it’s finest!

  2. marypoppinz says:

    You’re back 🙂

    And you’re right. I am a bit of a perfectionist, which is completely at odds with my lack of motivation and discipline. So it’s like, no matter what, I always set myself up to fail.

    I’ve been trying to learn guitar for many years now, but I find it so discouraging every time I pick it up, because the callouses have healed and I’ve forgotten what I’ve learned from letting too much time lapse. Then I get depressed because I’m not making any progress. I’m a silly, silly person.

    I love to listen to cello. It must be amazing to play

    • Aaron says:

      Ugh, I am the same with guitar! I am not getting any better… maybe we are perfecting the skill of being lazy? Ha!

  3. marypoppinz says:

    I knew I was good at something!

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